Relationship with Self

Why are you mean and unkind to yourself? Why do you talk to yourself in that cruel, cutting way? What is that tape, running in your head? Here are some suggestions on adjusting your emotional attitude towards yourself:

Loving another equal and an adult, is transforming—tune in.

Listen to yourself, nurture yourself.

Discipline gives you true freedom.

Forgive yourself.

Live in the present. Now. Every minute.

Love and work are the most precious gifts you can give another.

A gift of yourself is the greatest gift you can give another.

Ask for help. Network.

Do not pretend to be in total control.

Periodically reinvent and renew yourself.

Try hard to keep promises and commitments—your internal sense of justice will punish all infractions.

Cacti can be as beautiful as a rose bush. Love them anyway.

Explore the concept of acceptance of self.

Love yourself. Accept yourself, your body and mind, as you are. While trying to improve both, affirm and love yourself as you are today, here and now.

Accept your whole life, as a divine gift, good and bad as it is now.

Love others. You are the mirror, in which all your loved ones see themselves. You can soothe and inspire them by reflecting back an image that is lovable and competent. Calvin Cooley, renowned sociologist has described the Mirror Image thus: ‘I am what I think, you think I am.’ If you are constantly putting down others, they can be mentally destroyed. Their unhappiness can harm your mindscape.

Accept your family as they are. Unrealistic expectations about your child can put unrelenting pressure on him. Mills and Boon expectations of your spouse can make them feel unloved and inadequate. They can then become cranky and difficult.

You do not need revenge. Let go. Go forward and live. Compete only with yourself. Take pleasure in others’ growth and achievement.

Keep the child in you alive, stroke and liberate the playmate, cuddle the baby in you.

Excerpts from ‘The Happiness Quotient’

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